On Loss, Loneliness, and Finding Your People
It’s been quite some time since the last time I've written a blog and it is long overdue. I've wanted to write sooner, that was one of my big goals of 2026 was to write more, but January has proved to be a bit of a whirlwind, not necessarily a bad whirlwind, just a lot of moving pieces. Now that I finally have a minute to sit and write since it’s currently 36 degrees in Florida right now I can get my thoughts down on paper.
Throughout January I might have gone through every possible emotion, from the start of the year I became deathly ill and then my grandpa passed away. For those who don’t know my grandpa was diagnosed with Dementia and Alzheimer’s last year and it's been interesting to say the least. It took a long time for me to grasp the situation and deal with the fact that you have to watch somebody die twice. You watch them die the first time when they begin to forget who they are, everything they once were slowly fades away. Once that has run its course you just wait until their physical body decides to move on. Trust me when I say there is no timetable for either, sometimes it's quick other times it's not. In my case I really thought my grandpa was going to live for a long time, everything seemed alright for the most despite the terminal condition he was facing. Time went on and I made sure I wouldn't have regrets, every time my dad went to see I would go, some days were good others not so much. I went from his grandson, to his son, and ultimately to a stranger. It was hard, strange, confusing and quite literally everything in between. I watched my family become stressed, overwhelmed, sad and towards the end beyond exhausted. One day the day came, I woke up one morning to a text from my mom that said “call me when you have a few minutes to talk,” I knew what it was about. It was such a strange feeling, I was torn between sadness and contentment. My grandpa was gone but he was an extremely religious man, a devout believer and I knew he was going to a much better place. My grandpa and I had a unique relationship, he was a tough stubborn guy, he wasn’t the type to be outwardly affectionate and he was set in his ways. However he gave me my pop and that’s the greatest thing he could have ever done for me and I will always be grateful for that.
After the funeral emotions were high and low for the entire family, grief comes to us in different ways. Some people push family away, others try to gravitate towards family, there is no recipe when you are dealing with grief. It consumes you and that's just simply a fact. Time and life continued on and this loneliness started to take shape in my life and mind. I just felt lonely, the kind where you really can’t explain it, it was a feeling that consumed me in ways that even I can put into words. Then I finally realized what I had. PGA Show Week, one of my favorite weeks came and went. For those who don't know, The PGA Show is the yearly launch of all types of new golf products for the new year. It gives new companies a chance to establish themselves in the industry and it brings golfers and those in the industry together for one whole week. That week I realized all I had. Friends from all over the country came to Orlando and everyday that week I made new friends, saw old friends that I haven't seen in awhile. It showed me not only what I have, but what is in store for me. It’s incredible the power humans have to not only change lives but to be there for people. This one goes out to my people near and far. It's a pleasure having you all in my life, because at the end of the day we are all we have.
Like always I'm still ending my blogs with a quote, but I encourage any of my readers to drop new quotes they want to see or like and blog ideas you all would like to see me write about.
“Sometimes life takes you in a direction you never saw yourself going, but it turns out to be the best road you’ve ever taken.”
